God's Timing

I've never had difficulty being patient, but recently, I have been struggling with letting everything happen in God's time. I so often cry out to Him, 'Why God? Why am I having to wait for what I want? Why does everyone around me have a significant other and I have just me?' Many days I find myself having to stop what I am doing because my desires are so strong. I know that God has perfect timing and that's why things are done, in His time and not mine. Just like it says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in it's time, He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end." I just have to wait and be patient. It will be more beautiful if I wait for God's timing then I can release all the passion I'm holding in my heart for that one that special person. It will be better than I could ever imagine and one hundred percent worth the long, hard wait. If I don't have a lot of little relationships then my marriage and the few relationships before my marriage will be that much sweeter.
I've gone through a complete heart change, I use to constantly be in a relationship, or at least my heart has always yearned for one, but all that's given me is heartache. I need my heart to yearn for something that won't let me down. That's why I've changed what I want to something that will be better for me in the long run. However, just because I have changed what I want doesn't mean that my heart has changed what it wants. Basically, that means that it won't be easy, but I know that if I constantly pray to God to help me with this He will because He want to give me strength in my weakness. Psalm 68:35, "You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!"

Biopsy

When I was younger there was always a certain mole on my neck that I didn't want. I would always say that I wanted it to be removed, I hated it. I thought it looked so stupid and that everybody secretly laughed at me for it. The years have passed and to be honest, I have started to like it, quite a bit actually. I feel like it's a part of me and that it made me beautiful, it almost felt like a trademark to me. One day, when I went to the dermatologist the doctor said that it looked suspicious for cancer and that we should remove it. It was rather sad to hear, but I would rather have it removed than have cancer, so we set up an appointment.
Today is the day that the appointment was set for and I was extremely nervous. They numbed the area with a local anesthesia, which was rather painful to be honest. Then they started the procedure. I couldn't see what they were doing, but I could hear the sound of scissors and a buzzing noise, it was terrifying. The biopsy lasted about 5 minutes and it felt really short, but not that short. The biopsy itself wasn't that bad, it just feels like a blow to me to loose that mole. I know that sounds silly, but I really started to get attached to it and it's weird to think about how I won't ever have it again. However, the good news is that I won't have cancer because of it. For me, it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone.' I've really learned to appreciate everything about me because God made me just the way I am for a reason. And to Him every part of me is beautiful, even the parts that I hate.

Starry Night

It was 4 o'clock in the morning and here I was in a freezing cold pool with a few of my best friends. One of my friends looked up at the sky and said, "Look at the stars!" I looked up and was memorized by the beauty of nature. There was a few stars sparkling against the night sky. Seeing the stars and really looking at them took me back to the last time I did this. Last time it made me feel so small compared to the vastness of the universe, however tonight it caused me to feel something different. Tonight I felt important and very special in God's eyes. My friends started to splash each other and I thought about how God knows their futures. One of my friends, we'll name her Hope, is moving away in a couple of weeks. We're all sad about it, but those stars reminded me how Hope is always in God's thoughts. That doesn't just apply to Hope, it is just as relevant to all of His other stars. The lyrics to the song "God Is Watching Over You" ring so true, the chorus goes as following:
God is watching over you as always
You are loved whatever you go through
He's right beside you
God is watching over you as always
And if you think He'll ever leave you
You'd better think again
I've said it before, but I can't say it enough, trust God with all you are. He placed you in your part of the sky for a reason, all you have to do is let your starlight shine for all to see, stare, and be memorized in the amazement of your beauty.