"Self-control"

I was ranting to my friend, Matt, the other day about how he left me standing right next to my temptation. I was talking to him about it in more of a joking way, because it was hard standing there like that, but it wasn't anything I knew I couldn't handle. However, the person standing next to Matt, we'll name that friend Joyce, started commenting on my rant. In fact, she was more ranting at me saying that I act and talked as though I had less self-control than I really do. She brought in the idea that I had subconsciously used this as an excuse to give into my temptation.
I'm going to be honest, I thought that this was an interesting idea. However, that statement seemed very harsh and didn't seem true. My friend, we'll name her Stevie, said, 'I think it's more it hurts to be in that situation, then her subconsciously thinking she has less self-control.'
Now, that struck home. See, if I have learned anything recently it's that living for God is the hardest thing you will ever have to do and to be honest, you probably will not receive many rewards in this life-time for it. That is just the point though, we aren't suppose to be living for this life, we are suppose to be looking forward to Heaven and spending it with Christ. It's a very hard life to live, especially when no one around you seems to understand, that's why God gave us the Holy Spirit. The Bible doesn't talk about Him very much, but He is so vital to our faith. John 14:16-17, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you."

He lives!

My Savior lives! Doesn't that just blow your mind? How much about God is true based on that one statement? It means that God is active and working in lives around the world right now. He's not a thing of the past or irrelevant to life today because He's alive.
I've heard numerous songs that God is alive, for example Aaron Shust's song "My Savior, My God" and heard people talk about God that way. However, it has never really clicked with me until now. Just think about all the things we can do knowing that God is alive. We can live without any hesitations to obey Him, the lives we can touch and the differences we can make, it's incredible.
I really like the verse Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Chirst and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." I realize that that verse is a bit out of context here, but really, the implications that that verse makes is just astounding. Having a God who is alive and active in our daily lives is definately a blessing that none of us should take for granted or underexacerate.

God Kills

I cried a lot of tears that came straight from the heart of a girl who let Her God kill her today. These past few weeks have tough, the way it always is when you deny your God. However, I did do as He said, but not nearly quick enough. I had numerous opportunities to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Him, but I knew that that would "kill" me, so I actively choose not to.
Everyday that I made that choice to reject Him I would feel like I was doing nothing wrong while I was doing wrong, but as soon as I stopped I turned and everywhere there were signs saying, "Laura, I, your God, am telling you what to do. Why do you deny Me?" I heard Him very clearly at night and every night I would make the choice to do what He told me to, but of course the next morning I would immediately do it. I forgot the signs and lost my decision.
Finally, a week ago it got to the point of overflowing pain and with teary eyes I destroyed the very thing I had built my life around.
I've cried a lot lately, the kind of heart-aching cries where there are no tears just pain. It hurts to kill yourself, but it's something that as Christians we have to do, we can't have two masters. In the Bible Christ said this during the Sermon on the Mount. Luke 16:13, "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." He used the example of money, but this two masters thing applies to all aspects of life, whether friends, family, drugs, success, everything. We have to make an active choice to put God first and we have to learn to let Him kill us because it's the only way to truly live.